Eating ass is hardly ever planned.

I’m British so I’m going to use the word arse moving forward.

If you’re a pearl-clutching prude, I suggest giving this article a miss, seriously, you’ll only get upset and ask to speak to the manager. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Most of us enjoy sexy time. 

But most of us don’t speak of sexy time. That caper is intimate and on a need-to-know basis. I occasionally like to write about sexy time, especially when I ca…